Dissimulation

As a creative writer, a wordsmith, I tend to poeticize my perceptions. It is easy to get lost in a zodiac of words, all those dark skies, ephemeral ice, or the pale hand of spring.

On this morning, I am thinking of more coherent things. Here is what I am waiting for as I dissimulate my desire: My fingertips wish to dance on a keyboard day and night, to

write something that will be scented with truth and a piercing light.

I enjoy my visual world, the twist of my camera, that miracle of making images. But writing is in my dangling DNA. It is my wild love, my nakedness, the echo of a lost Self that I have come to know over and over again.

So I am lowering my window and biting my lips. There is a near whisper outside but I must strain to hear its voice. Manifestation is a powerful tool once you come clean. I am ready to traverse every possibility. I am scattering my own wings and allowing the wind to shake me.

Soliloquies

Tonight I think about the citadels of my childhood, those last days of freedom that marked the end of summer. My mother would hand us our books and take us away from the sea. It happened as rapidly as retreating water against the sand. We would suddenly sway closer to autumn and leave behind the soliloquies of a life filled only with air and song.

In the desert, change is a subtler thing. You must have a secret rapport with the earth to understand the difference. The shifting of seasons has its own truth.

Here everything burns and we become yet another thing.

These memories are as incoherent as my dreams. My heart drifts to unlikely places where thoughts are unfinished walls or eyelids painted with sleep.

The Fortune Cookie

My fortune cookie from today's lunch: All the darkness in the world cannot put out a single candle.

Being of the Chinese Rabbit persuasion, and a Sag, I immediately took this auspicious offering to heart. My beloved friend from Taos called yesterday and mentioned that my writing lately has been revealing more than just my low blood sugar.

Amen. My Beautiful Sage is always right.

So here is my metamorphosis, post Chinese wisdom and ample chunks of chocolate:

White heat. Pale. Mute. Sweeping. Bare. Vaporous. Sheer. Ethereal. Sunlight.

Pristine. Breath. Halo. Silence. Skin.

Stretch of desert. Stillness. Billowing Clouds. Snowdrifts. Crystalline. Sheath. Reflection. Ice. Vanilla. Tears.

Softness. Open. Transparent. Whispers. Swathed. Shimmering. Stars. Simplicity. Frosty. Dust. White heat.